Things I hate about grocery shopping

It takes forever.

That thing you forgot to pick up at the other end and have to walk all the way back for.

The people that block an entire isle.

The cart that never goes the right way and is super loud. Look out everyone, here I come.

Why is it SO expensive?

I always forget at least one thing I needed.

The fact that the slightly less fattening option is also double the price. Maybe if they made the healthy stuff the cheaper option Americans wouldn't be so fat. There's a thought.

When I bring home the wrong thing because it was in the place of the right thing. Usually happens when I'm buying two of something. Now what am I going to do with Green Chili & Lime refried  beans? No thank you.

The cashier that acts annoyed that I have a half full cart. Sorry for making you do your job.

The person that stands too close to me in line at the cashier.

Lastly, unloading the groceries from my car. Making sure I have enough on each arm that they might just break before hauling it up the stairs.

Thank You Notes

If you have watched Jimmy Fallon on Friday nights, you know where this is going. If you haven't, you should. Well really you should check him out every night. He's hilarious. His "Thank You Notes" always make me laugh and I bought the book for Jason as part of his birthday present. Of course I read it first.

So I'm going to follow in Jimmy's path and give you a few of my thank you notes.

Thank you, people that pronounce height "heighth" for making me glad I had parents that corrected me.

Thank you, jeggings that have no zipper for making me feel stupid every time I check my fly.

Thank you, TV show marathons for making it impossible to get anything done.

Thank you, Dexter, for making me think every weird looking person is a serial killer.

Thank you, roommates for showing me the things I never knew I could find so annoying.

Thank you, Harry Potter for being so cussing awesome.

Thank you, people that look at me like Interior Design is not a valid thing to study, for showing me how stupid you really are.

Thank you, Kashi cereal for tasting exactly how you look, like bird food.

Thank you, Utah construction, for making it impossible to get ANYWHERE in a timely manner. 

Thank you, WebMD, for making me feel like I'm dying every time I look up something.

Thank you, lady that comments how stinky your baby is but continues to stand there not changing them. I really do enjoy you spreading the smell around.

Thank you, idiots that always cross the double line to cut me off in the carpool lane. I thoroughly enjoy the mini panic attack.

Thank you, Spanx, for a job well done.

Thank you, Justin Bieber, for making me feel twelve while I belt out all the words to your songs. And possibly dance. 

Thank you, You, for using your precious Internet browsing/blog stalking time on my little blog.

Laptop

Laptop. It's supposed to sit on top of your lap right? Well that works out pretty well for me most of the time. Until I enrolled in an AutoCad class and need to use an actual mouse. That doesn't work out too well on your lap. So, I configured this little gem for a mighty $15.

Not the most stylish desk in the world, but hey it works. Yes, those are tv trays holding up that piece of wood. I had to work with what I had. I picked up that little green chair at Target today on clearance.

Cute right? You know what's not so cute? The swear word that came out of my mouth when I squished my finger putting the stupid thing together. I had all the pieces put together and turned to the last page to find that it has a weight limit. A weight limit that is 26lbs less than my fat butt. SERIOUSLY??? They had to wait until the LAST page to inform me of that? There was plenty of empty space on the box, that info could have easily been placed somewhere. Am I sitting on it right now? Of course I am. Do I feel like I'm sitting in a child's chair cause it's kinda small? Of course I do. Do I expect it to collapse under my weight and I'll end up on the floor? OF COURSE I DO. 

Giant Size

In the past year Jason has been under anesthesia 3 times for dental work. I've taken him to his appointment every time. He reacts to the anesthesia pretty well and every time he says the funniest things that he has no memory of.

Friday was his last appointment. All three times I find him in the same spot after he's done. Sitting in a wheel chair, mouth full of gauze with a total dazed look on his face. His finger always has a sensor clipped on it to measure his BPM and well whatever those machines measure.

We were sitting there quietly waiting for the dentist listening to the machine beep loudly. The beeps slowed down for a second and then went back to normal. Jason turns to me and asks what his BPM is supposed to be. I told him I didn't know. He very seriously says " I just died there for a minute." I couldn't help but just sit there and laugh. Then a few minutes later he asked if he looked tired. I told him that yes he did look tired.

We left the office and I asked Jason if he wanted a Jamba Juice. He said he did. Then he said we could just wait until we got to Lehi and go to Smoothie King. We were in Provo. I told him it would be at least 20 minutes before we would get to Lehi and Jamba Juice was just up the road. I asked him if he had a preference of which one we went to. He said " I'm in no condition to make critical decisions." I laughed and said we were going to Jamba Juice. He repeated that it was a critical decision.

I asked Jason if he knew what kind of smoothie he wanted. He wanted Mango a go go. I asked "A big one?" and he said "Giant Size. Ask them if they have giant size." I didn't ask them for giant size. When I came back out he had completely reclined in his seat.

Jason says he doesn't remember anything about the car ride except me saying something about parking in the shade when we got to Jamba Juice. Even though I feel bad that he has to get work done and be in pain, I find drugged up Jason pretty funny.